What The Future Holds
by the.idiot.xD
Summary: A story in Kurt's POV beginning from the aftermath of Season 3 finale and will thus lead into season 4. This is my interpretation of the spoilers on the Klaine break-up.
1. An Envelope

_~~Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of its characters!~~_

_**An Envelope**_

The summer was great. I was able to still see my friends…_well_, at least the ones that were still in Lima. I spent the majority of it with Blaine, my boyfriend and the love of my life. We would go to the local theater and watch plays, shop for intricate brooches and unique bowties, decide on which songs to serenade each other with, and reminisce about our love story. It would seem like the perfect life but as September drew closer and closer, it became a nightmare. September meant my friends going back to school for their senior year, including Blaine. It also meant that by getting rejected from NYADA, I had _nothing_ left. It was the only college I applied to. My life is musical theater or at least… it _was_ since it was ripped away from me. I guess that's why they say life isn't fair sometimes.

* * *

"Kurt?," Blaine's voice reaching my ear.

I snapped out of my inner monologue and remembered where I was. I had been waiting at the Lima Bean for Blaine to get out of school with news of Finn. My hand clutched around the envelope that I was still holding all this time.

"I got a letter in the mail today," I started out while I waived around the envelope, "It was from Finn. He's heading home from the Army for a couple of days next week. He says he really misses Rachel and wants to go visit her in New York. "

"That's awesome," Blaine said with a smile and reached for my hand. "You want to go too, don't you?" he asked. Leave it to Blaine to know what exactly is on my mind. I nodded in response just like he knew I would.

"Great. We should pre-order three train tickets to New York then. I know you really miss Rachel and your girl talks," Blaine said in response.

"Three?," I asked in utter confusion. He must have really meant two-for Finn and me. School had already begun and New Directions were already gearing up for Regionals.

"You didn't think I would let you go alone, did you?," he said with a smirk and a light squeeze of my hand. "I can't imagine spending a day away from you _in Lima_. You being in New York would drive me insane. I could always do make-up assignments for class anyways."

At his words, my smile only grew larger. He was the best boyfriend anyone could have asked for and I was going to show him my admiration. I pulled him close and kissed him ever so gently on the lips. "I love you Blaine Anderson. That will never change."

I watched as his eyes twinkled with joy at my statement. He placed his forehead against mine and returned the kiss, "Always and forever, Kurt Hummel."

* * *

I hope you liked it so far even though my writing isn't that great and it's short! I will try to post the next chapter as soon as possible. Please leave reviews~~~


	2. This Is Where I Belong

_**This Is Where I Belong**_

The tracks rattled as the train was making its way to its destination. Despite all the chit-chattering of those on the train and the generally loud noises the train made, I only had one thing on my mind: _New York_. I could feel my heart beat faster and faster as the distance between me and New York grew smaller. My hands grew clammier as the minutes passed by. When I saw Finn's worried expression directed towards me, I knew the nerves showed on my face. I soon felt hands grasp mine, ignoring the moisture I generated.

"Is there something wrong Kurt?," Blaine asked filled with concern. "You haven't talked much since we got on the train, you gradually paled, and your hands…," he said with a light chuckle as he lifted our linked hands.

I detached my hands and wiped them on my pants. "It's nothing really," I honestly replied, "It's just…it still stings that's all. My dream was New York but I woke up to reality. I'm just not good enough."

Blaine turned towards me and placed his hands on both sides of my face, making me only see him. "Listen to me Kurt," he said in a stern tone, "No matter what people say or what you think, you **ARE** good enough." Before I could even protest, he continued, "You are the most amazing and talented person I have ever met. Your chance in New York will come. I know it. Even if it might take some time, I will be here for you. And…..when you make your Broadway debut, I will be sitting in that audience and feeling proud of you like I always have."

I could only nod as his words of encouragement brought tears to my eyes. I wrapped my arms around his body and pulled him into a tight hug and felt him do the same. "Thank you," I tried to say through the waves of water running down my face. He dislodged himself and lifted his hand to my face. "No problem," he sweetly said as his thumbs wiped away my tears and gave me a light peck on the lips.

"Ummm…" Finn's somewhat uncomfortable voice snapped both of us out of our little world. We had completely forgotten that Finn was with us in that moment causing us to simultaneously let out an embarrassed chuckle. "Blaine is right," he chimed in, "New York is your future and I'll always be here to support you no matter what." I nodded in gratitude.

* * *

As the train arrived into the station, I felt myself grow calm. I gathered my composure. What Blaine and Finn have said gave me hope that my dreams were not dead and that I had to continue to work towards it. What better place to be than the "City That Never Sleeps" to reignite my fire. All I could do now was look forward to the opportunities that came my way.

As we made our way onto the platform, I was the first to see her. Her hair had grown a bit longer and her clothing choice have improved somewhat, even though it still wasn't as great as mine. But the warmth of her smile did not change as she waved to us.

It brought a smile to my own face seeing my best friend only a few feet away. "Rachel Berry…"

* * *

What did you guys think? I will try to post the next chapter as soon as possible. Please leave reviews~~~


	3. Unfamiliarity

_**Unfamiliarity**_

"Kurt! Blaine!," she said with excitement, "And… _Finn_!"

The way she said his name was different from ours. It had a hint of unease even though she knew he would be here. I guess that happens when the last time they saw each other was suppose to be their wedding day. What was supposed to be a day filled with love and happiness turned out to be a day full of good-byes and tears. So…I guess their interaction should have an air of awkwardness. All they could do was stare back at each other.

"So…," Blaine interjected to break the tension, "I guess we should head to our motel first."

Rachel nodded in response, "Of course, let's go."

* * *

The taxi ride over was uncomfortable as no one spoke to each other. If it was not for the radio, _crickets_ might have been heard even if it was ten in the morning. I could see Rachel and Finn shift in their respective seats, thinking of things to say but to no avail. Blaine was just nodding his head as he listened to his IPod. As for me, I was too busy taking in the scenery of New York. It wasn't the first time I came here but New York never failed to amaze.

Even after we checked into our motel room and settled down for our two-day stay, Finn and Rachel had made no progress. Whenever their eyes made contact, they only smiled in response. This was getting nowhere fast so I guess it was time for me to come to the rescue. "So our plans were…," I directed to Rachel, "to have you bring us on a tour of New York and NYADA today. Tomorrow, _Blaine and I_ will roam around so you're in charge of Finn." At the corner of my eye, I watched Finn's eyebrows furrow since we made no such plans. The prospect of him being alone with Rachel was not ideal currently but I had to do something. The elephant in the room just had to be dealt with.

"We planned a big date night," Blaine added. He knew where I was going with this and jumped on board. He must have wanted to distance himself from the _Finchel Ship of Awkward_ as well. Rachel and Finn both nodded in unison but I knew they were saying some choice words in their minds that were meant for us.

"Let's get this day started."

* * *

Walking through the busy streets was the highlight of the day. Everything was as I remembered it to be the last time New Directions strolled through. I couldn't get enough of the New York air even though I could taste the evident pollution. Our last destination was something I was excited for yet afraid of: _NYADA_. As Rachel led us through the hallways, I could feel my feet getting heavier with each step. I could hear faint sounds of students practicing their song and dance numbers. I couldn't help but think that I could have been one of them. Auditioning for a role in a school production. Practicing for a competition. Making it big when a scout sees my talents. All of it. Even though I was _here_, I never felt so far from it.

Blaine knew that being here was wearing me down so he suggested heading to dinner as the sun was starting to set. He reached for my hand and gave it a light, reassuring squeeze. I turned and gave him a smile. His touch made me grateful that he was here and not back at McKinley High School. To hold me up when I felt the world weighing on my shoulders. Unlike the status of my life, he was perfect. Falling for him really was inevitable.

At dinner, I would say that Finn and Rachel made _some_ progress. They carried several conversations long enough before having the memory of their supposed wedding day resurface. Unfortunately or maybe fortunately for them, being stuck together for the next day meant no time to let that memory set in. It will give them enough time to sort things out, they had to. They couldn't possibly go a whole day without any words being exchanged…_right_?

* * *

~~~What did you guys think? I will try to post the next chapter as soon as possible. Please leave reviews~~~


	4. A Forked Path

_**A Forked Path**_

It was a perfect day for our "pre-planned" date. We had decided last night as we laid in bed together to have a picnic at Central Park first. We made all the preparations for it. We decided to buy bread and cold cuts to make sandwiches for lunch. We found a ragged cloth from the motel room which we made sure to wash…_several_ times. As we laid down on it on top of the grass, time seemed to have slowed down. The sun shined brightly and brought warmth to our skin. The cool breeze felt cathartic as it caressed our bodies. The quiet chirping of birds sounded as if it were a symphony. If I could live in this moment _forever_, I would without a doubt. _Everything_ was perfect. I couldn't help but look over at Blaine as we held hands. He was taking in the ambiance as much as I was as he laid with his eyes closed. Blaine is a handsome guy to _begin with_. That was undeniable…but as the sun fleetingly stroked his face, he was truly _breathtaking_. This was definitely the moment I wanted to last forever. Filled with love and serenity.

I discretely moved closer to Blaine and placed a kiss on his warm cheek. It gave him a startle as his eyelids fluttered open. He turned his body towards me and gave me a sweet smile, signaling that it was a good kind of startle. He proceeded to move my head towards him until my forehead laid against his cheek. As he laid his arm on my chest, I could smell the scent of vanilla from his neck. We stayed like this for the longest time. One…maybe two hours? I didn't know exactly but it just didn't _matter_.

* * *

Unfortunately, not all good things last. We had also made plans to walk through Times Square to shop as well as see the lights later that night. Walking through the crowded streets was exhilarating yet annoying as rude New Yorkers pushed their way through to get to their destination. "I guess this is the one thing I hate about New York. I don't appreciate mean hordes of cattle," I scoffed. Blaine could only chuckle at my comment as he did partially agree. "I swear, the next person who bumps into me will get a mouthful," I declared proudly as Blaine shook his head with a slight grin.

After five minutes, my statement became reality. A well-dressed woman who looked to be in her mid-40's bumped into my shoulder, shifting my balance for a split second. "Hey! Just because you might need to be somewhere… and have decent taste in clothing, it doesn't mean you can walk over me," I yelled. Instead of getting mad and giving me the well-known New Yorker attitude, she eyed me up and down while circling me. I shifted uncomfortably as she mentally judged me, giving Blaine a confused look at the possibility that she might be mental.

"You got spunk kid," she stated when she finally got an eyeful, "and quite a taste in fashion if I must say so myself." I didn't get to respond to her compliments as she continued, "How would you like a job as my intern for three months…at Vogue?" At the hearing the last word leave her lips, I felt as if I was going to faint. "But…but I don't…live here," I said while stumbling over my words, "I live in Ohio." I watched as she thought to herself and suddenly snap back into reality, "I guess it's your lucky day kid. My friend is looking for someone to sublet his apartment for a month while he is on vacation. Until then, you can look for a place of your own. So…will you be taking up my offer?" I tried to process everything she had said as I felt my head spin. "Look," she said as she was getting impatient with my lack of response, "Here is my business card. If you're interested, give me a call by the end of the day." With that, she turned and went on her way. I held onto the card with a tight grip as I watched her walk away and disappear from my vision.

* * *

I twirled my fork around as I looked out of the window, waiting for our food to arrive as we sat in Applebee's. The offer rang in my mind over and over again like a broken record. I could be an intern for a Vogue journalist. The day was coming to an end and so was the offer. I have been weighing the pros and cons ever since but…I couldn't decide. I just didn't know what to do.

"Kurt…you should take that offer," Blaine said firmly, "It's a once in a lifetime opportunity." I knew **I** spent the majority running scenarios through my head but I didn't know Blaine had been too.  
"What about NYADA?," I asked.  
"You have to wait till spring of next year to reapply anyways," he stated as he grasped my hand, "Until then, you can take this three month internship. You love fashion…you're the most fashionable guy I know."  
He was right about NYADA…but he missed an important factor. "What about…_us_?," I whispered.  
Blaine proceeded with a reassuring smile that I've gotten acquainted with throughout this trip, "You and I will be fine. We can Skype everyday…we could visit each other when we have time. It'll be like we never separated." With a squeeze of my hand, he continued, "Three months is nothing, Kurt. You'll be back in time for another Christmas together. Do this…do this for _yourself_."  
Tears were building as I listened to Blaine. I couldn't believe how perfect he was to me. "I love you," I stated as the tears finally rolled down my cheeks. "I know," Blaine responded, "Now go make that call." I rocked my cell phone back and forth in my hand before gathering enough courage to dial the number. I waited nervously as it rang until her voice came through…

"_Hi, my name is Kurt Hummel. You spoke to me about an internship at Vogue with you earlier today along with an apartment I could sublet. I…I…I'll like to take up that the offer."_

* * *

~~~I hope you liked this story so far. I will try to post the next chapter as soon as possible. Please leave reviews ^_^ Y ~~~


	5. Restless

_**Restless**_

Last week went by so fast that it almost seemed like a complete blur. When I told Rachel, she was overjoyed that I would be around as the pressures of NYADA would push her to the limits. I would be able to keep her _somewhat _sane. As for my father, there was a minor setback as he didn't take the news that well. It was granted since he never really wanted me to leave Lima in the first place when I applied to NYADA. Fortunately, a talk with him was enough to allow me to go, albeit reluctantly. Blaine had helped me move my things into the gorgeous apartment for the three-month stay. The tricky part was saying good-bye to him after everything was done. I knew we would see each other again, whether it be in person or through Skype, but it felt like a part of my heart was being ripped out. After the tears had dried up and the dust was settled, he was gone.

* * *

_~One month later~~_

As the clock struck 4PM, I couldn't be happier as I gathered my things to go to the apartment and rest after a tiresome Tuesday. The _only_ thing getting me through the week was that Blaine was coming to visit me this weekend. I already had over 20 ideas in my head of what we could do when he came. A voice soon broke my daydream. "Hey Kurt," she started out, "I need to talk to you for a bit. Do you mind?" I shook my head, uneasily as I got a bad feeling about it. "Well it has been a month since you started," she continued, "And after seeing your contributions as well as making everyone fall in love with you…" She paused to think to herself, composed herself and carried on, "I would like extend your internship…to one year. And after that period, there will be a position right here for you. What do you think?" At that moment, I felt my jaw drop and my eyes widen. "Oh my gosh! Thank you!," I blurted out with a wide smile plastered on my face. I guess the bad feeling I got was wrong.

When I finally arrived home, I realized I had made a big mistake. As I opened the door, I saw Rachel already sitting on the floor of the living room. I had made her a copy of the key so she can come when her roommate, Brody, was too much for her to handle. "Hey Kurt, how was work?," she asked as she lifted her head from her schoolwork. I dropped everything and quickly made my way to her side. "I need to talk to you about something," I said as I sat down, "My internship got extended to a year and I was guaranteed a position after it's over. I…I accepted." I soon felt petite hands wrap around me and pull me into a hug, "That's amazing Kurt!" I shook my head as I slowly pulled her off of me, "No, it's not! This was only supposed to be a three month thing, Rachel. It means not being able to see Blaine…miss being together for Christmas…for Valentine's Day…for our _anniversary_. Blaine is being bombarded with school work back at Lima so he doesn't have time to visit. I…I already missed several of our Skype dates because I end up passing out when I set foot into this apartment!" Rachel hand immediately makes its way to my back, stroking it to get me to calm down. "I was wrong to take that offer without telling Blaine. I'm such a selfish and horrible boyfriend," I say as I bury my head into my shaking hands. As Rachel pulled my hands away, she made a suggestion. "Well you two are Skyping tonight right? You can tell Blaine about it then," she stated, "Who knows? Maybe Blaine wouldn't mind."

* * *

I waited patiently in front my laptop for Blaine to sign on. Rachel has already left to get back to her dorm room after she made sure I was fine. She offered to stay with me for the night but I needed to do this alone and on my own. At the designated ringing sound of Blaine signing in chimed through my speakers, I quickly made a Skype request. When a connection was made and I saw his face, I could visibly tell he wasn't in a great mood. _"Hey Kurt, I'm need to cut this Skype session short since I have several tests to study for. Sorry."_ I shook my head in response, "It's okay, school is important. I guess I'll make this quick." As I gathered the words in my head, I could feel my heart ready to beat out of my chest. "My internship got extended to a year and I will be offered a job after it's over," I said hastily. I watched at Blaine's surprised face as silence set in. After a few seconds, he finally spoke, "_Oh…that's great. I'm really happy for you Kurt."_ I was taken aback at his support, "You…You're not mad? It's a _year_, Blaine. That means **nine** more months of being apart. I should tell her tomorrow that I can't accept it after all." I watched closely as Blaine was clearly battling with himself inside his head, "_Of course not. This is amazing news and you deserve it. I know its nine more months but we…we can figure things out."_ I nodded in response even though something felt a bit off. _"I should go. I really need to study for these exams since I procrastinated enough already. I can't wait to see you this weekend. Love you."_As I forced a faint smile I waved goodbye, "Love you too." With that, he ended the connection and I went to lie in bed, feeling more restless than I was before.

* * *

~~~ I smell trouble ahead _ I will try to post the next chapter as soon as possible. ^^ Please leave reviews ~~~


	6. Empty & Broken

FYI: the words in the middle are lyrics to a song where its name is provided at the end of the chapter =] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_**Empty & Broken**_

_Friday 5PM_

I found myself going directly to NYADA after work to see Rachel during dance practice. Apparently her instructor, Ms. July, has it out for her. I wanted to see in person if Rachel was just exaggerating like she always does. I sneakily crept into the back of the dance studio to watch as the students were about to begin the routine. Within minutes, I could hear her voice echoing through the studio, "Ms. Berry, can you at least _look_ sexy! This is not a kindergarten ballet recital. From the top, everyone." I watched as Rachel sighed in frustration. The stories of the dragon lady were true after all. It also did not help that Brody was constantly teasing and flirting with her every chance he got. Even though I think Finn and Rachel belong together, I had to admit that Brody was _something else_. His face and body…it was quite the eye candy. Before I could divulge more, I saw that I had been spotted. Before Ms. July could open her mouth to yell at me, I instantly ran out.

I ran for about a minute before I abruptly crashed into someone. Unfortunately for me, I fell on the ground as my balance had failed me. "I'm so sorry," I apologized without looking to see the face of the person as I got up and brushed myself off. "It's okay Kurt," she said slowly. I looked up immediately to see the face that knew my name: Carmen Tibideaux. My heart skipped a beat at knowing that I just crashed into the most revered woman in musical theatre as well as the one who made my NYADA dreams come to a sudden halt. "Funny seeing you here," she continued, "What do you think of this place so far." I looked around and answered honestly, "This place…is perfect. I only came to visit Rachel." She nodded her head in response, "Well, if you excuse me, I have a meeting to go to." As I turned to walk away, I heard her calling me, "Kurt! Even though it was unfortunate that you were looked over, I sincerely hope you will reapply to my school. I'm certain you won't be looked over again." With that, she turned and walked away eventually vanishing from my line of vision. I went to bed that night with a colossal smile on my face. Things were starting to line up for ole Kurt Hummel: a remarkable internship, basically an acceptance into NYADA next year from Madame Tibideaux herself, and the most amazing boyfriend who I will finally get to see tomorrow. Nothing could ruin this…

* * *

S_aturday 2PM_

_Can we work this out  
I don't want to close the door  
Before the sun goes down  
We can't let this go too far_

I waited anxiously for Blaine's train to arrive at the station. The thought of seeing his face, kissing his lips, and feeling the warm touch of his hands were driving me insane. I also couldn't wait to tell him what transpired yesterday. At the sound of the train's engine finally arriving on the platform, I immediately stood up to meet him at the door. As his face appeared before me, I reflexively pulled him in a kiss followed by a long and steady hug. "I missed you so much," I whispered as I unlatched myself from him. I soon realized that he didn't have any bags with him for his stay with me. Blaine soon caught on, "I actually need to get back to Lima _tonight_. I'm so sorry…I have a pile of assignments to do back at home that I need to focus on. My train ride back is at 7:50PM." I stood there in disbelief as my weekend with Blaine turned into several hours. "Oh…," I stated as I brushed off the disappointment, "I guess we'll have to spend the time we have wisely." I grabbed his hand and dragged him off.

_I'll do anything  
To meet you anywhere you are  
'Cuz it doesn't matter anymore  
Who was right or wrong  
If we could only find the words we lost  
Before what we have is gone_

When we grabbed a bite to eat that took nearly two hours, I told him about NYADA. Afterwards, I brought him back to Central Park to repeat the date we had last month. The weather has chilled a bit being that it was October now but it was still nice enough. The leaves from the trees were starting to fall as the wind blew. It made everything aesthetically romantic and if we got cold, we could always cozy up to each other. As we laid on the grass, everything was the same as it was a month ago when we were here and yet…_something_ was different. I turned to see that Blaine had closed his eyes. I reached over and grasped his hand in mine which made him open his eyes and give a faint smile. We stayed there till it was almost 6:55PM. Instead of going to dinner as I originally planned, Blaine suggested taking a walk around the park instead since he wasn't in the mood for food.

_My heart is wearing thin  
I don't want to fight a war  
That no one's going to win  
All this time we've grown apart_

We walked hand in hand in silence for almost 30 minutes before Blaine spoke up. "Kurt, we need to talk," he said as he let go of my hand and stopped walking, "I had been thinking for the past couple of days…about _us_." I nodded in response, unsure where this was leading. "I just feel like…," he continued, "our lives are heading in opposite directions. You have this…this wonderful job here and a bright future ahead of you while I'm stuck back at Lima. I feel so alone without you and it has been distracting me from school and glee club." My heart stopped, realizing that the bad feeling I had was not a fluke. "We talked about this already, Blaine," I pleaded finally realizing that _it_ was coming, "We are going to make _this_…_us_ work. I already apologized about missing some Skype dates and that I will never do it again. I meant it when I said I could never let you go." Tears were collectively forming in my eyes as Blaine responded, "I know and I thought I would be able to do this. It has only been a month and I feel like a complete wreck. How am I supposed to do this for another 11 months? What we discussed…it was easier _said_ than _done_. I can't…I can't do this anymore Kurt, I'm so sor-." I found myself yelling, "Stop! Just…please stop!," not letting him finish. As we stood there in silence, tears rolled down his face as I felt my heart shatter into pieces. What broke the silence was the ringing of Blaine's cellphone alarm, signaling that it was time to head to the train station. As he fumbled to get his phone out of his pockets, I walked away first to head to my car. I no longer had the strength to hold the tears back as they cascaded down my cheeks.

_Looking for an end  
If I'm the one that's holding on  
Holding back  
Here's how we begin_

As I drove Blaine to the station, we sat without exchanging words while the radio played. As we neared the station, a love song started to play which I angrily turned off. It was the wrong song for the depressing mood that was stinking up the car. I parked right outside the doors and we sat in silence once again. "Kurt, please say something," Blaine pleaded as time was winding down.

_My heart is wearing thin  
I don't want to fight a war  
That no ones going to win  
All this time we've grown apart  
Looking for an end  
If I'm the one that's holding on  
Holding back  
Here's how we begin_

_What was there left to say? He had put a lot of thought into this these past couple of days. There was no possible way to change his mind and decision. What did he expect me to say? Our relationship was dead and I was left empty inside._

_Say it now, I hope we find a way  
To say it now, don't be afraid  
To say it now, everything we're keeping inside  
Don't wait just let your heart speak  
Don't waste another heart beat  
Cuz we'll never know  
Until we let it out, let it out  
Say it say it now  
Say it say it now_

I could only despondently blurt out the first and only thing that was on my mind.

"Have a safe ride home…"

* * *

~~~ It made me so upset writing this chapter since I am a severe Klaine shipper! I been obsessed with the song (Say It Now by The Afters) and I thought the lyrics would be perfect for this chapter. Please leave reviews =] ~~~


	7. Hollow

_**Hollow**_

The past two months felt like forever to get past. I was able to put on a happy façade for work and no one seemed to notice. Once I was out the building, my true self came out. The first month was spent on crying my eyes out as I watched romantic comedies. They all ended on a happy note which peeved me the most. This is because I knew the truth. The movie ended right when the main couple was happily together because the horrible fact was that they would eventually breakup. Just like how my relationship with Blaine ended. It was all a lie. Happy endings were a _lie_. That was the horrible reality. …Maybe I should have gone with horror movies…

By the second month, I had no more tears to shed. Instead, I was just this hollow shell of the person I used to be. I just didn't have the strength to do _anything_. My mundane existence ran like clockwork every day. On weekdays, I would wake up, go to work, shower when I got home, and sleep. On weekends, I locked myself in my bedroom as I gazed upon the ceiling or wall. I couldn't even look at food without wanting to throw up so the only things keeping me alive were coffee and one or two Tic Tacs. I don't even know how I'm still alive. Even with Rachel constant encouragement to break my routine, she eventually gave up when she no longer knew the person I had become. The friend she knew was gone and she had to accept that he wasn't coming back. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I couldn't even recognize myself. My skin has dulled due to the cessation of my moisturizing routine, my cheeks have hollowed due to the lack of nourishment, and my clothes hanged onto my bony frame.

* * *

_December 21, 6:00PM_

Since the Christmas holiday was coming up, I have been informed through a week old voicemail from Mercedes that she, along with the graduated New Directions members, were coming back to Lima to celebrate together. They had decided to throw a party on Christmas Eve night at Breadstix. I had not replied because I frankly felt no reason to go back. Rachel had already traveled back to Lima due to winter break from NYADA. She had tried to convince me to go back with her but to no avail. I only had my life in New York to _care_ about now.

_::Ring Ring::_  
The sound of my cellphone's ringtone cutting through the silence gave me a light scare. I wasn't used to getting calls or texts ever since that fateful day in October. I read the caller ID, finding out that my dad was calling me. I honestly did not want to answer but having been apart from him for so long, I felt entitled to. "Hey Dad," I said softly, "I'm really tired so-." I heard him sigh before he interrupted me, "Kurt, I want you to come back home for Christmas. Carol and I will be back from Washington D.C. and we really want to see our boys again. Finn has agreed to come home already." I wanted to decline but he beat me to the punch, "I know these past couple of months has been rough on you. Maybe being with family will make it easier. I hope to see you soon, kiddo." Before I could reply, he had hung up the phone.

I contemplated on what I should do. Going back _would_ be a nice change of scenery. I would get to see my friends and family. I already had a vacation request approval from Vogue. I was basically forced to take a break despite my insistence since they saw I was working too much. The only downside was the huge likelihood of bumping into Blaine. I don't even know if I would be able to face him because I only grew numb to my feelings. Seeing him again would only put me bring back those emotions and place me in a dark place. The question I had to ask myself was if I'd gotten out of that dark place in the first place. Maybe finally seeing him after all this time would somehow get me closure. I had to at least try…_right_?

After the inner battle in my mind, I soon found myself ordering a train ticket back to Lima, planning to stay there till the 27th. I guess it's now or never…

* * *

~~~ Endless possibilities! Sorry that is a short chapter! =P I will try to post the next chapter as soon as possible. Please leave reviews =] ~~~


	8. Recollection

_**Recollection**_

I spent the first ten minutes of the train ride back to Lima looking through the window. Going back to where my life used to be, where I had been for almost 19 years of my life. A mixture of emotions plagued me: happiness, nervousness, excitability…and fear. I looked around the train to see the other people who were traveling back as well. Some looked as if they were going back to visit family and others looked as if they wanted to tour Lima. I instinctively looked to my left at the empty seat beside me and couldn't help but remember the first time I rode the train to New York. Blaine's figure soon flashed across my eyes…

_Blaine turned towards me and placed his hands on both sides of my face, making me only see him. "Listen to me Kurt," he said in a stern tone, "No matter what people say or what you think, you **ARE** good enough." Before I could even protest, he continued, "You are the most amazing and talented person I have ever met. Your chance in New York will come. I know it. Even if it might take some time, I will be here for you. And…..when you make your Broadway debut, I will be sitting in that audience and feeling proud of you like I always have."_

I forcibly shut my eyes and shook my head as his figure faded away. I looked back at the seat beside me and it was once again empty. It was the one of the sweetest moments of my life…only now it was a painful memory. I placed my hands over my chest as a slight pain seared through my heart. A painful memory indeed…

Once the ache subsided a few minutes later, I placed my hands in my coat's pockets to warm them from the Winter's cold. I soon felt something hard and small in my left pocket. When I took it out to look at what it was, my heart stopped. I had forgotten that I had placed it in there a while back when I couldn't stand to see it on top of my dresser anymore. It was the box that contained the greatest memory of all. As I opened it, the memory of last Christmas flooded back to me…

"_I think this year we should be thankful for the things we do have," Blaine stated as he pulled me to the side, "not the things we don't have. Which is why…" I watched him as he reached into his bookbag, pulled out a small red box, and presented it to me, "I know that our relationship has reached a new level this year so-" I couldn't help myself and exclaimed, "If that is an engagement ring, my answer is yes!" Blaine lightly shook his head with a smile and handed me it, "Kurt, just open the box." When I opened it, a ring made out of something revealed itself. "It's a promise ring," Blaine explained, "I made it out of gum wrappers, Juicy Fruit…" I felt as if I was on cloud nine, "Wrigley's, my favorite. Is that a bow tie?" Blaine nodded his head as well made a confirming sound. "But…but what are you promising?," I asked breathlessly. "To always love you…to defend you even if I know you're wrong…to surprise you…to always pick up your phone calls no matter what I'm doing…to bake you cookies at least twice a year…and to kiss you wherever and __**whenever**__ you want," Blaine described sweetly as he looked into my eyes, "But mostly just to make sure you remember how __**perfectly**__ imperfect you are. Now I know it's not something Elizabeth Taylor would have worn but -." I was overcome with so much happiness that I had to interrupt him with a hug, "I love it! Merry Christmas…it's our first Christmas together." When he detached himself from me, he gave me a charming smile, "The first of many…"_

I felt my hand grip the box tighter as the memory neared the end. I opened the box to see that the ring was still as perfect as the first time I saw it. It looked the same but the world around it had shifted. I never knew that much could have changed in a year. I quickly closed it and shoved it back into my pocket. I remember wanting to toss it out the apartment window or into the Hudson River. In the end, I just couldn't bring myself to do it as it was the last physical thing I had left of Blaine and our love. I couldn't let it go that easily in the end. Before the feeling of despair could take root, a voice called for my attention. "Kurt?," a familiar voice called out. I watched as the person that possessed the voice walked over to me, revealing his face. "Chandler Kiehl…," I whispered.

Chandler and I spent the rest of the train ride talking about the past year. I told him about my internship as well as life in New York despite failing to get accepted into NYADA. He, however, did get into the musical theater program at NYU and was just traveling back home for the holidays. As the train came into the station, we gathered our luggage and made our way to the exit. Before we could go our separate ways, Chandler spoke up. "Maybe we can have coffee sometime since we'll both be here for a while," he suggested as he placed a hand on my shoulder. I really found no reason to refuse. I was single now and Chandler was obviously still into me. I had to move on at some point. Maybe it was time. "Sure," I said with a smile, "How about coffee on Christmas Eve?" Chandler ecstatically agreed so we made sure we still had each other's number. "I'll text you the time," I said as I waved goodbye to him.

* * *

~~~ I love the "Klaine Box Scene"! Using it in this context made me so upset… le sigh… Since school has started for me, I am unable to write/post chapters as fast but I shall do my best! Please leave reviews =] ~~~


	9. Uncertainty

_**Uncertainty**_

_Christmas Eve, 12:00 PM_

I had planned to meet up with Chandler at the Lima Bean to talk. As I waited for him to arrive, I recalled the last few days back at Lima. I didn't do much though. I patiently wanted for Dad and Carol to come back from Washington for Christmas. I hadn't told anyone that I was back in town. I only informed Mercedes that I will make it to the Christmas Eve's party. I just stayed in my house and room, just texting the day away with Chandler. Talking to him made my life better as I slowly crawled out of the deep, dark place I had been in for the past couple of months. It felt good to finally be able to breathe. Unfortunately, he had to spend time with some family members so we didn't have a chance to meet up till now but that's fine. I didn't mind since we would see each other again when we go back to New York together.

I eventually noticed two figures walking towards me as I sipped on my coffee. When I lifted my head towards them, I was met with familiar faces: Sebastian…and Blaine. I guess their friendship was repaired after the whole rock salt and Dave Karofsky situation. Blaine looked basically the same as the last time I saw him. His hair was perfectly coiffed in tons of hair gel and he still looked cute in his bowtie. I could care less about Sebastian. "Kurt, I didn't know you were back in town," Blaine exclaimed as he placed a hand on my shoulder. His touch sent shivers down my spine which I immediately shrugged it off, not wanting to feel that way. "Yeah," I responded, "Celebrating Christmas with family." I watched as Sebastian shot me a smug look which Blaine was oblivious to, as always. "Great to have you back," Sebastian said unconvincingly as he draped his arm over Blaine's shoulders. Could they be _together_ now? I shot him a fake smile in response. "Since you're here, are you coming to the New Directions reunion party tonight?," Blaine questioned. It looked as if he really wanted me to say yes but I just told myself that I was mistaken. "Of course," I exclaimed with a smile, "I can't wait to see everyone."

Soon, another figure joined us in a rush. "Sorry I am late," Chandler apologized genuinely as he sat down, "I was going crazy finding you the perfect gift. I almost had to fight an old lady for it but I got it." I let out a light giggle at how sweet he was. I soon realized that Sebastian and Blaine were still standing there. "Chandler, this is Blaine and Sebastian," I introduced as I gestured to them respectively. I saw an imaginary light bulb light up in Blaine's head as he recognized that name. Unlike Sebastian, he wasn't quick to shake Chandler's hand. "You two are…?," Blaine suddenly blurted out when he finally did. I was taken aback by his insinuation but luckily Chandler answered. "No…at least not yet," he said as grasped my hand and gave a sly smirk. Despite my curiosity at Blaine's behavior, I could only sheepishly smile. I watched as Blaine awkwardly shifted in place, "We're going to go now…I'll see you tonight. Bye." Within seconds, they were gone. "So…," Chandler spoke with a quizzical look on his face, "Is that the same Blaine that is your ex-boyfriend?" I nodded slowly in response as I lost myself in my thoughts. I hated that he still made my heart flutter just at the sight of him. His touch still had an effect on me even after all the separation. A light squeeze of my hand broke me out of my stupor, "Forget about him. It's his loss that he let a great guy like you go. He's a part of the past and I'm here now…"

* * *

_Christmas Eve, 9:00PM_

As I walked into Breadstix, I was greeted with familiar faces that I have missed so much. The first two hours were basically all of us catching up. It felt good to talk to them as they were my friends and safe haven in the hell that was McKinley High. Puck was able to spike the punch bowl that we had so a couple of people were a bit drunk: Brittany, Tina, Rachel, Puck, Artie….and Blaine. At around 11PM, I was tired from trying to escape the clinging of Rachel and making sure Brittany kept her clothes on since we were in a public place after all. I said goodbye to everyone and gathered my things to go back to my warm, inviting bed. At the corner of my eye, I spotted Blaine sitting in the corner by himself. I made my way over to him and shook him gently, "You okay? You're sitting all by yourself, come join everyone." Blaine's gaze traveled from the floor to mine, "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" It sounded like a defensive rhetorical question so I backed off, heading towards the door. I soon felt a tug on my arm, "You're leaving?," Blaine asked softly as he stared at the floor. I nodded in response, "It's late. Finn will be driving you home so -." His eyes made contact with mine and his grip on my arm tighten, "So you could meet up with… Chandler." I watched as pain flashed across his eyes as he said his name. Were the emotions I was seeing him convey real or fueled by hard liquor? I decided to go with the liquor reasoning since _he_ was the one that broke up with _me_, "No. I'm going home to sleep. Like I said, Finn will be taking you home. Take care of yourself." I loosened his grip from me and walked out of the restaurant.

I had to get out of there before darkness could engulf me once again. I sped to my house and quickly made my way inside and to my bed. I laid there in silence for a while, thinking about today and what happened. My hand involuntarily pulled out the box that I had left in my coat pocket and opened it. Was Blaine trying to tell me something? He was the one to initiate the break-up so he should be over it already. Did he expect me to fight for him…for _us_? Even after all this time, I was still confused. I closed the box as a headache seared through my forehead. I placed the box back into my pocket and shook off my dubious thoughts. Like I said, he was the one that wanted to break up. Now…it looks like he has Sebastian and he looks happy. I eventually coaxed myself to think about tomorrow only as it was suppose to be a day filled with family. Only to be filled with happiness….not uncertainty.

* * *

~~~ Hmm, Chandler or Blaine? Decisions, decisions! I will try to post the next chapter as soon as I have time apart from school! Please leave reviews =] ~~~


	10. Tangled Web

_**Tangled Web**_

_December 27, 10AM_

I aggressively stuffed the rest of my clothes into the already overflowing suitcase. How was it possible that I had more things to bring back than coming here? I didn't buy anything during my visit and the only extra things were my gifts from Chandler and family. They weren't bulky so I don't know why they posed a problem. I deduced that my suitcase has shrunk at the cold temperature of winter. When it finally allowed me to zipper it up completely, I wiped the sweat from my brow and let out a breath of relief. A figure soon appeared at the doorway with arms crossed, "Packing already? You're train ride isn't till 1PM." I made my way to my dad, "I know…I'm just making sure I don't forget anything." He pulled me into a hug, "Any room for your old man?" I let out a loud chuckle, "Sure but…I'm going to need a bigger suitcase." As he let go of me, his expression soon turned into a serious one. "Look Kurt," he started out, "We are a team and I'll always be here for you. I love you so much so it's killing me to see you leave. Don't get me wrong….I'm very proud of what you have accomplished back in New York. I just miss my boy. Promise me you'll call home and/or visit more often." I felt myself get emotional at his little speech and it was now my turn to give the hug, "Of course. I love you too."

* * *

After lunch at Breadstix, my dad drove me to the train station. During the ride, I thought back to the last couple of days. I spent it mostly with my dad, Carol, and Finn. It felt great to be home and surrounded by familiar faces. I was truly happy, an emotion that had became foreign to me. I soon realized that I only saw my friends once during my trip. Luckily, it was spent having way too much fun at that Christmas Eve party. As for Blaine…we didn't contact each other since then. I didn't expect to since he is probably happy _with_ Sebastian. As for me….I _somewhat_ have Chandler since we aren't officially each other's boyfriend. So I should be happy in the relationship compartment…_right_? When the car came to a complete stop and the engine turned off, I came to the realization that I have arrived at the train station with 15 minutes to spare. I will be able to leave this tangled web of confusion behind soon. I hugged my father goodbye and headed to the platform. As I ascended the steps, I saw someone that I didn't expect to be there: Blaine.

"Trying to leave without saying goodbye?," he questioned lightly. I responded with a chuckle, "Saying goodbye is too hard. I thought I might skip the whole process all together. Tell the others I said bye." Blaine looked down at the floor and nodded his head. Before uneasiness could stain the air, another person joined us. "I thought I was going to miss the train with all the traffic," Chandler exclaimed, trying to catch his breath. He quickly acknowledged Blaine with a slight nod of the head, "I'm going to find us some seats." I nodded my head in response and turned my attention back towards Blaine. We stood for 2 minutes in silence as the cold winds lashed at our bodies. "So…I guess I should go now. Chandler is waiting and all…," I said as I shivered with my hands in my pockets even though I still had a good seven minutes before the train would leave. "Yeah…," Blaine said hesitantly and slowly.

As I pulled my hands out of my coat's pockets to give a goodbye hug, the small red box fell out. Seeing it land on the floor, shock and embarrassment overtook me. Before I could extend my hand out to retrieve it, Blaine had already picked it up. I watched him as he examined the box, wiggling it in his hand. Moments later, I saw the light bulb in his head light up again as he finally recognized it. Having no other option, I quickly grabbed the box from his clutch and shoved it back into my pocket. I studied Blaine's face for any form of reaction. I could clearly tell he was shocked but something else was there too. Happiness? Relief? I really didn't know nor had the time to decipher it. Blaine opened his mouth to speak but the chiming of the train's bells rang indicating the last boarding call, ultimately cutting him off. I gave him a hug that was longer than I had expected to give. After I let go, I quickly said goodbye and made my way onto the train with my suitcase.

I looked around the aisle to see Chandler waving his hands, signaling me to where he was. I promptly sat down and placed my suitcase under the seat. Chandler was talking to me but I could not focus on the conversation. My mind would fleetingly go back to Blaine each time. I clenched the box with my hand through the coat. What was he going to say after seeing it? Maybe I should have given it back to him…but I couldn't let myself lose that memory of us. I buried my face in my hands in frustration. I wasn't supposed to be thinking about this or feeling this way. I expected to be _happy_ and _sure_ of my future at this point but I guess it's not that simple. With a gentle shake of my shoulder, I was brought back to reality. "You okay?," Chandler asked worriedly. I just couldn't very well tell him what was going on in my head. Everything was still confusing for _me_…no point in involving other people in this tangled web. "I'm fine," I lied.

* * *

~~~ Next chapter will be 3 months into the future so we'll see what happens with Kurt, Blaine, and Chandler ^.^ I will try to post the next chapter as soon as I have free time from school! Please leave reviews =] ~~~


	11. Complete

_**Complete**_

_Three months later…_

Three months passes by so fast that it seems almost like a complete blur. The weather had changed from frostbite and hypothermia-inducing temperatures to that of cool ones with a hint of rain here and there. By the time I arrived back in New York, the 3 months on the subletted apartment was almost up. Fortunately for me, I was able to find a spacious loft to rent nearby. Due to the steep rent, Rachel had decided to move in with me. I dread the day she drives me completely insane, leading me to murder. Until then, I was delighted that I got to live with my best friend. I continued my internship at Vogue, still doing an excellent job in my superior's eyes. I made sure to call my dad at least once a week, upholding the promise I made with him. His calls are hard to make since he ends up saying something sweet, making me miss him even more. I almost packed my bags, wanting to go back to Lima a couple of times but I restrained myself. As for the relationship/love compartment, I had Chandler. A couple of days after we got back to New York, he asked me to be his boyfriend. I happily accepted and we've been happy since. I also gained back most of the weight that I had lost at the end of last year and were in good hopes for the oncoming year. Everything seemed like they were coming together for me like pieces to a puzzle…almost completed.

* * *

_March 24th 4:00PM_

I happily skipped out of the NYADA auditorium, successfully finishing my audition as well as giving in my application. Carmen Tibideaux gave my performance a positive review and hinted that she will be seeing me the coming school year as a student. I made my way to 14th street since Chandler and I made plans to have an early dinner at Max Brenner, a restaurant famous for their chocolate desserts. Many people gave me weird looks because I was still skipping but I couldn't care less. I was on cloud nine. When I finally arrived outside, I took out my cellphone to call Chandler to see if he was nearby. Before I could do so, I saw that I had a voicemail. I quickly called my voicemail to listen to the message. The first few seconds were nothing but silence. I was close to automatically deleting it until I finally heard the other person speak. _"Hey Kurt," _Blaine's voice filling my ear,_ "How's everything? I just wanted to let you know New Directions won its Regionals and Nationals happens to be in New York this year. We will actually be performing at NYADA. I really hope you will come and watch us perform. Bye."_ His voice was filled with nervousness and excitement. Why did he want me to come? I guess cheering on my former glee club wouldn't hurt. I wondered if he had invited Rachel as well. Will Sebastian be there as well? I found myself groaning at the idea of seeing his stupid meerkat face. I ended the call when I noticed Chandler's figure walking towards me. "Were you waiting for a long time," he questioned after he placed a kiss on my cheek. "No," I said with a smile as we walked into the restaurant.

I stared at my partially eaten hazelnut crème banana toffee crepe, deep in thought. I don't know why I was thinking about Blaine and his message but I was. How could 15-second long message affect me that much? I am with Chandler now…I was finally happy. Isn't Blaine just a part of the past now? When I noticed something waving around, I snapped out of my thoughts. Chandler had been waving his hand, trying to get my attention for the past 5 seconds. I gave him a quizzical look. "I asked," Chandler said in a huff, "Would you like a piece of my melting chocolate truffle heart cake?" I shook my head at his offer since I would have trouble finishing my own dish. "What's going on in the adorable head of yours?" Chandler questioned shortly after. I shook my head in response, "Nothing really. I was just thinking about a voicemail Blaine left me." I looked to see if Chandler would react to the mention of his name. When no response came I continued, "He informed me that my old Glee club was coming to New York for Nationals and wanted me to attend." Chandler nodded in response and continued to eat his cake. Tension filled our table as we finished off our plate in silence.

The walk back to the loft was also filled with silence as we walked hand in hand, the majority of which I spent thinking about Blaine. When we were almost there, Chandler stopped walking and pulled me aside. "What's wrong?," I asked with confusion. "You tell me," he responded, "You been a bit _off_ because of that voicemail." I didn't have a defensive response ready because he was right. "Look Kurt," he continued, "I really like you and all but I don't think we are going to work out. I can clearly tell you're not over him even though you _think_ you are." I took a few seconds to completely absorb what he was saying to me. I eventually shook my head in response. "No…it's just that -," I tried to explain. "You still love him…don't you?," Chandler interrupted. Questioning my feelings was one thing but having someone else question me was overwhelming. I soon realized what Chandler was saying was true. I wasn't over Blaine because I loved him so much and I still do. I had been denying this fact because it helped numb the pain of our break-up. Being with Chandler helped that process along. Chandler is a great, caring guy but in the end, he didn't have my complete heart. In truth, my heart was still back at Lima with the one I left it to. "I'm so sorry…," I finally mustered up. Chandler placed his hand on my shoulder, giving it an affectionate shake, "It's okay. I've been pretending to myself that everything was fine. The heart is a complex thing and unfortunately for me, it's not mine for the taking. I understand that now. I just want you to be truly happy…with someone who _completes_ you. I hope we can still be good friends though." I smiled at how sweet he was being about all of this, "Deal."

* * *

~~~ Next chapter will be the last! I'll try to post it before the season 4 premiere of Glee this upcoming week… _ Please leave reviews as they are very much appreciated =] ~~~


	12. My Future Is With You

_**My Future Is With You**_

_Three months later…  
June 21st 1:00PM_

I hurried home from work since I took a half-day off to be able to watch New Directions perform at 2:30PM. When I finally got home, I quickly striped my work clothes off and took a shower. After getting out of the tub, I noticed a post-it note attached to the bathroom mirror. _I went ahead to NYADA to see our friends. I'll save you a seat for the show –Rachel._ Thank goodness she went ahead first because I probably wouldn't be able to find a seat in the soon-to-be-packed auditorium. I quickly shuffled through my closet to find a suitable attire. I eventually settled on a dark gray button-up collar shirt, a black vest, black pants, and dark gray dress shoes. After getting dressed, I glanced at my watch to check the time: _1:45PM_. Fearing I would miss the beginning of the competition, I quickly stuffed my messenger bag with essentials. I didn't know when they would be performing so I didn't want to miss any minute. Before I ran out the door at lightning speed, I remembered to grab my mail as well, just in case there were bills to be paid.

* * *

_NYADA Auditorium 2:25PM_

When I finally reached the auditorium, I had to support myself against a wall. I tried to catch my breath and focus as stars were flashing through my eyes. People around me gave me concerned looks put I gestured that I would be fine. After a good minute of hyperventilating, I finally saw Rachel. She waived her hand in my directions, signaling me that our seats were near the front. I hurriedly made my way to the seat, swiveling through the vast crowd of people. She quickly informed me that New Directions were performing last so we had to sit through the competitions' performances. Despite their stellar performances, I had high hopes that New Directions were going to win. We had great new members as well the sweet Sam Evans, the rocker Joe Hart, the talented Tina Cohen-Chang, the amusing Brittany S. Pierce, the smooth Artie Abrams…and Mr. Perfect Blaine Anderson. I felt myself tense up at the thought of Blaine. I will be able to see him in person in just a matter of moments.

_Ladies and Gentlemen, we introduce to you from Lima, Ohio…New Directions!_

Rachel and I reflexively got up from our seats and applauded loudly for them. Their rendition of Titanium by David Guetta ft. Sia and Wide Awake by Katy Perry were great as usual. The last song which is the ballad was to be performed by Blaine. Right before he began the song, he glanced over to me and gave me a smile. At the start of the beat, I knew what song it was: New York by Snow Patrol.

_If you were here beside me instead of in New York  
If the curve of you was curved on me  
I'd tell you that I loved you before I ever knew you  
'Cause I loved the simple thought of you  
If our hearts are never broken and there's no joy in the mending  
There's so much this hurt can teach us both_  
_There's distance and there's silence, your words have never left me  
They're the prayer that I say every day_

I watched as Blaine sang the lyrics, looking back at me time after time. With the corner of my eyes, I watched as Rachel looked at Blaine and back at me several times with a big smile on her face. She lightly jabbed me with her elbow, signaling that she knew the song was meant for me.

_Come on, come out, come here, come here  
Come on, come out, come here, come here  
Come on, come out, come here, come here  
Come on, come out, come here, come here  
The lone neon nights and the ache of the ocean  
And the fire that was starting to spark  
I miss it all, from the love to the lightning  
And the lack of it snaps me in two_

_If you were here beside me instead of in New York_  
_In the arms you said you'd never leave_  
_I'd tell you that it's simple and it was only ever thus_  
_There is nowhere else that I belong_

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as he continued singing. Why was he singing _this_ song? Was he trying to tell me something? Of course I wanted to be with him but he hurt me so much. Was this his way of telling me he wanted me back as well?

_Come on, come out, come here, come here  
Come on, come out, come here, come here  
Come on, come out, come here, come here  
Come on, come out, come here, come here  
The lone neon nights and the ache of the ocean  
And the fire that was starting to spark  
I miss it all from the love to the lightning  
And the lack of it snaps me in two_

_Just give me a sign, there's an end and not beginning_  
_To the quiet chaos driving me mad_  
_The lone neon nights and the walls of the ocean_  
_And the fire that is starting to go out_

As Blaine finished singing, the audience gave him a standing ovation. I suddenly felt claustrophobic as I looked around and felt the need to get out of the auditorium as the tears were threatening to cascade down. Rachel tried to make me stay in my seat but I forcibly pushed my way through the row of seated people. As I exited the auditorium and made my way to the restroom, I could hear footsteps closing in behind me. At the sound of the Blaine's voice calling for me, I stopped in my tracks, "Kurt! Wait up." I tried with all my might to keep the tears in their place. "Why did you sing that song?," I asked forcibly with my back still facing him. "Because….," he started out, "I love you." I quickly turned around and did something unexpectedly: I slapped him _hard_. As I watched him cup his reddening skin with his hand, the tears began to pour down my face.

"You _love_ me? Would someone that _loves_ me break-up with me? Would someone who _loves_ me lie to me when said they would be there for me always? The answer is no Blaine. The answer is NO!," I shouted through my sobs. I stepped forward to slap him again but before it could make contact with skin, Blaine reflexively grabbed my wrist and pulled me into a tight hug. I tried to wiggle my way out of his hold but the crying had already taken a toll on me. I continued to let out loud cries as I buried my face into his shoulder. Minutes passed before I grew quiet while Blaine still held me. I lightly pushed him away and rubbed my swollen eyes, "Just say what you want to say."

I watched as Blaine took a deep breath of air and gulped it down. "I'm sorry for everything. I was selfish to break-up with you. I thought that…that it would stop the pain of missing you because I did…I missed you _so_ much. After that day, I thought it was going to get better...that the pain was going to go away…but it just didn't." This time, Blaine was the one crying. "I blame myself for what happened because I let the guy I love most slip through my fingers because of my stupidity. I thought I blew it but when…when I saw you on Christmas Eve at the Lima Bean, I hoped that we would go back to the way we were. When Chandler came and I saw how happy you seemed, I couldn't bring myself to ask you. I didn't want to destroy the happiness you created, even if it wasn't with me despite the fact that it was killing me inside. That's why I drank so much at the party and acted jealously. I felt so ashamed afterwards of how I acted because I _deserved _to feel miserable. When I found out that you were leaving soon, I just had to say goodbye one last time. My luck was once again crushed when Chandler showed up but one thing gave me hope. When I saw that you still kept my promise ring, I thought I might have a slim chance so I had to run with it." I breathed heavily as I clung onto his words. "If you're with Chandler, I will fight for you for as long as I have to. I love you Kurt. You are still…and will _always_ be the love of my life."

I inched toward him once again. In response, Blaine closed his eyes, preparing for the stinging of the second slap. I placed both my hands on the back of his neck and pulled him towards me, our lips crashing together. After a good minute of making out, we gasped for air. Kissing Blaine still took my breath away. "Chandler and I are just friends now…," I stated as I caressed the still pink handprint on his face, "…because in the end, I would always love you too despite my greatest efforts." Blaine chuckled as a smile spread across his face. He suddenly picked me up, threw me over his shoulders, and ran towards the exit. "What about the results?," I squeaked, holding on for dear life as he ran full speed. "This is much more important," he shouted back.

I eventually persuaded him to let me down so we could walk hand-in-hand back to the loft. Trepidation set in as I realized history might repeat itself. "You still need to go back to Lima to finish school…and I'll be here," I stated despondently. "Not for long…," he answered ominously, "NYADA was out of my league so I applied for the musical theater program at NYU so I could be near you. I…I got in. Thankfully you forgave me or it would have been _awkward_ being third wheel to you and Chandler." It was now my turn to pick him up in total elation, dropping my bag in the process. I gently set Blaine down and tried to pick up the letters that spilled out. The NYADA letter caught my eye as I straightened the pile. I quickly opened it and read the letter, stuffing the rest of the mail into the bag. Moments later my arms fell to my side, weak. "What is it?," Blaine questioned cautiously. "I…", I stuttered as I tried to keep my balance, " I… I got into NYADA…I got into NYADA!" I know had the perfect job, an acceptance letter into NYADA, and the man that I would never cease to love. Everything was once again perfect. I grabbed Blaine's hand and ran towards the loft…towards the great unknown…towards the _future._

* * *

~~~ I hoped you enjoyed my story. Please leave reviews as they are very much appreciated =] ~~~


End file.
